Santa Claus Exposé Part3: Santa's Army

Many claim China has the largest army and the U.S. is proud to say they have the best, in reality Santa, dictator of the North Pole has the largest and best militia under his power. 300 tanks, 300,000,000,000 soldier elves, 900 reindeer, 400,000 naughty helpers, and an unlimited source of magic make Santa the most dangerous man on earth.

Why does Santa need such a large army?
Over his 300 years of reign Santa has gained many enemies. In 1789 Napoleon attacked Santa's Workshop, the excuse he gave the church for attacking a saint was that he had been wrongly placed on the naughty list as a child. In 1942 Hittler bombed the North Pole town of Luislovenia, his claim was that Santa was a traitor to Europe. Many more including Ghandi, Bin Landen, and the Easter Bunny are know for being Anti-Santa. Santa claims his large army is needed because of the large list of enemies he has know as the Naughty or Nice list.